Sometimes I reflect on the influence my parents had on me and how it shaped my own behavior in relationships. My mother cared for me deeply, yet she rarely understood me. Starting in fifth grade, I gradually chose to communicate less with her. She’s someone with a strong attachment to objects, keeping things she no longer needs and even pressing them onto me. I understand that she likely wanted me to keep these items for her, but for me, they held little significance. Her emotions were often unstable, and if she couldn’t understand others, she would unintentionally spread negativity, which created tension at home. This taught me a valuable lesson: it’s truly hard to find mutual understanding and appreciation, and I shouldn’t easily accept things or relationships I don’t genuinely care for, as they ultimately bring about a burden and pressure.

In contrast, my father understood me better, but his strong self-centeredness led him to believe that nothing I did was as good as his way. His love was deep and weighty, yet it left me feeling suffocated. His influence even extended to my own relationships—I later realized that I treated my ex-wife in a way similar to how my father treated me. This made me more cautious, reminding me not to repeat the same patterns in my relationships.

The connection I have with my parents is both a form of compensation and a complement. My mother’s resilience taught me emotional healing, and although her perspective was often biased, her strength and tolerance are traits I value. My father, with his strong convictions and stubborn beliefs, provided me with direction, but he also taught me the importance of selectively accepting others influences.

Through my relationship with my parents, I have come to recognize both their impact on me and how I should adjust myself. Gradually, I have developed my own outlook on life and learned to approach my choices with a calm mind, focusing on what I genuinely need in relationships and life.